Of My Pounds and Hair-Matters

Yes, it is a kind soul that informs me that I have won British Pounds 750,000. I know you will dismiss me as another drooling Indian who does not value Indian Rupees the way she can grovel for the British Pounds. No, you are mistaken. I will drool for Rupees 750,000 in much the same way I am worried for these 750,000 pounds lying somewhere in the world in my name. Every day I get an email informing me that I have won millions and the phool that I am, I go on deleting this information without even reading it. I delete it for I mistakenly think that these pounds are going to translate themselves into kilograms, into tonnes, into quintols and then, and then, ahhhh, I will be a celebrity.

The cynic that I am, I am rejecting celebrityhood. How will my poor spouse handle so much of fame that his wife will attract? So, like a good Indian Pativrata Nari, I kick this good luck. Ah, the bad luck. Kismet! I will die poor and wretched and wrinkled and arthritic and with a bad knee and bald.

Bald ! Someone help. I am losing hair like the money in my wallet, only my spouse and I do not fight over the lost hair. But I am worried, seriously worried. I just went to shampoo my hair and the hair fell like rain used to fall in Cherrapunji. Wasn't that the name of the place that used to get the maximum rainfall. Talking of rainfall, we had two wonderful rainy days and now again, we have the powercuts, and miserable days and generator sets working overtime. Rainfall makes me digress. I am losing hair. I had heard that the hair fall in rainy season. But then it is the rainy season for my hair all through the year. Help, Help. Boys you can ignore the post, or at best you can ignore the last paragraph while commenting and focus only on the pounds. Girls you can get creative about my hair-loss and suggest something good that will help arrest this fall. For your information, I am using henna, not using color. My hair dresser told me the other day that henna is the primary culprit for my hair fall. Is it? I suspect that the greedy fellow wants to earn commission from the L'Oreal people. I am using mustard oil like rustic babes. He hated me for that but said nevertheless that it was good to use. However, he insisted that I use color to hide the strands of grey that I am getting now. Bah, I have other plans about my grey hair. So come on, all you creative BlogWaasis, help me.

I might die fat, I might die poor, I might die wrinkled, but must I die bald??

Powered Rain and Dharamsalaed Trek

Punjab has been reeling under power crisis. Nothing new, considering that the two prominent contenders for power have always been at verbal loggerheads with little time and energy to think of common people. And do not forget Mr Sukhbir Badal contributing his (unfortunately worthless) more than two pennies too. Anyway, I desist from political commentaries and I stick to the bijli crisis that we all suffered and which was a supreme case of mismanagement, rowdiness, and haphazard supply. As a result, you have a paddy cultivating Punjab suffering badly with a power supply released for half an hour every two hours. Anyway, this post is not about power.

Thankfully, for the past two days it has been raining hard and good and I cannot help grinning. Rasan, ecstastically hugged me yelling, Mama, hun bijli nahi jayegi na? (there will be no power cut anymore, right?) Never in the last five years have I celebrated rains in such a spirit. Why, you would say? My previous residence was a closed kind of building where you did not get to see the stars. Mahesh loves to see and show off the stars to kids here in this residence. Here, I hear the koel, I hear the crows. Sadly there are no small house sparrows that I grew up watching in my house. I loved the way they picked at the grains that we scattered in the courtyard for them. They are innocence incarnate. Where did you all go, dear little sparrows?? And here I get to see grass growing so fast that the gardener is unable to finish trimming the whole garden in one go, By the time, which means days actually, he gets to finish the lawn, the grass at the beginning, much to his and my chagrin, grows back and yells for his attention. Being a sarkari banda, he doesn’t bother though. Grounds filled with water, cool breezes, jamuns falling off the trees in front of the main gate. You deserve a video. I will post it soon.

But then this post was not about rain also. This post was about our recent visit to Dharamsala and the trek that we enjoyed with the kids.

the fortunate girl, the unlucky boy

Before we set out for Dharamsala, everybody discouraged us saying that there is nothing much to see in Dharamsala. Sure they were right, if you go by the standards of a standard Punjabi family looking for fun. The staple fun that they expect in a hill station consists of these ingredients -there should be a good hotel, sumptuous food, car-able road (road where you can take your car and blare the stereo at full volume to disturb others), drinks – mostly for men, and shopping-loads of it-for women. We are different.

buddies

I mean I am different. My family was looking for the fun, sans the drinks. This time around though, I had my way. I made them live in a lodge with few luxuries. I pushed them out of the rooms at 8 am and we trekked all the way to a nameless waterfall. Most of the people who have been to dharamsala would understand that I am talking about Bhagsu Nag. Sure, we went there too. I found the priceless FBI at work there. This other waterfall is way higher above McLeodganj and Dharamkot where you leave your car to go into the wild to explore the priceless waterfall. I and Mahesh would have loved to go there alone but we had kids along. So we had a family meeting, took kids' consent that they would walk all the way to the waterfall which was about 4 kilometers uphill through narrow trails. It was fun, because with every step that we took, we were heading away from civilisation.

in the middle of the trek, we could hear the waterfall and could not see it

Kids were apprehensive, Mahesh quiet. I am sure he was thinking if it was a good idea to take his family into the wild. 1 hour and 45 minutes into the trek and we reached the waterfall. It is infact an assortment of 5 waterfalls and three wonderful pools that they form. With only two trekkers who reached prior to us, we were a total of 7 people on site. The seventh being Sansar, a man of 35 who runs a cafe here.

Sansar, the gutsy guy who lives alone at the waterfall

The cafe has the barest refreshments but the guy’s attitude is far more refreshing than anything else. A few minutes of talk with him revealed that he is unmarried and that he enjoys staying here-far far away from madding crowd. When asked if he misses living near the city he said “Those who live in stress need meditation; I am meditating every single minute of my existence. No, I don’t miss the village nor the city” It was somehow strange to find a humble businessman uttering these words.

I had a big fall on the rock near the waterfall. With an already injured knee it was a bit too much for me to handle. I wanted to cry, as in , I wanted to weep but just about managed with a yell and Mahesh rushed to my side, made me stand in the cold cold water to cure the knee of any fresh muscle tear and I was able to walk back through the tricky trail that we had chosen to spend our morning in.

the end of the trek-a tired trio, atop a cement ka ghoda

The day prior to it had been spent in roaming about in the McLeodganj market. Kashmiri stalls of trinkets and silver jewellery arrested me a lot of times but my favourite cop came to my rescue and released me from the shackles of avarice for newer pieces of junk jewellery. The Namgyal temple, its great wooden interiors , the funny signboard that warned us thus,

even when you are inside the temple? You gotta leave your eyes outside...

chess in every cafe, momos, Tibetan bread, bad humoured waiter serving us French toasts, a cool waiter bringing in chicken tikka, thin crust pizza,

bole so nihal, sat sri akal slogans in the McLeodganj main square, lunch in McLlo, dinner in CarpeDiem, cold drinks sans limits, half the night atop the lodge roof-under the stars, no internet, no TV , a dried up Dal Lake (yes there is one Dal here too- a duplicate one), St John's gothic Church and Lord Elgin's grave and Mahesh trying to play ghost,

this bell was foundered in 1915 in London

-that is what our two days consisted of. The third day, we went to this trek and said adieu to the hills, till we meet them again.

FBI @ Work

Recession is so so so bad that FBI is forced to sell Malai Barf (old styled ice cream):


Please do not notice his hand and knife, for soon he wiped the knife on his jeans and 'cleaned it', no idea about the hands about where/if he cleaned them:




Mission accomplished, time for a smoke:beedi jalayee lay...

Edited to add: I did not try the Malai Barf. Could not dare to.

My Mother, Head Cover, and Education

My mother used to wear a sari many years ago. She would have only two or three kameez salwar sets-that too when she had to go to her in-laws’ village or her own native village. It was perfectly normal for us to see her in a sari. In fact we associated her sari with her office-formal wear it was. She never used to cover her head with it.

Then she started to wear a kameez salwar and with it, a dupatta over her head all the time. I took some time adjusting to it, but then it was the call of the day and she being the ultra-flexible person, took to wearing what was the demand of the times. Sari had suddenly become a lewd and un-Sikh like dress. She stowed her saris away in trunks and cupboards, only to take them out seasonally to air them. We would wear them for some functions and flaunt our grown up selves in a changed attire. I still have not overcome the scare of having a sari coming untied down to my feet in the middle of an important presentation or a class, so I avoid wearing it. Mom still wears and carries well a sari for some functions where she does not want to cover her head.

Yesterday, we were at a friend’s place. Mom took two of her books for that friend’s family to gift them. The family’s daughter-in- law C and our relative H served lunch. Mom kept talking to the grandmother of the family. Mom wore a white cotton suit and a white dupatta and she kept her head covered all the time. H knows my mom quite well, C was meeting her for the first time. C kept talking to mom quite condescendingly, even sympathetically. After lunch when the customary seating pattern of men sitting separately from the group of women was repeated, we sat in one of the many bedrooms in the house. I left them for a few moments to check on the kids sitting in the kids’ room. When I returned, H was just short of ROTFL. She said, “Didi, C asked aunty (my mom), Thora bahut parhey likhey wi ho? (Have you had any education?)” I was aghast. Mom is a Ph.D, for dear God’s sake. This was the first time mom had been asked a question like that. I didn’t like it, but tried to smile and asked C whatever made her think that she was not? She said it was because of the head covering (dupatta) she wore. She tried to apologize but I didn’t want her to feel bad. She had a right to her opinion too. Mom turned it into a light one by quipping, “No, I aint educated, I just wear them spectacles to give a semblance of an educated woman.”

*****

Below is a video of my mother speaking on Jalandhar DoorDarshan on Female Foeticide. It is a fragment of the program that lasted an hour. Kindly adjust with me for the poor quality of recording. Mampi to be blamed for holding the phone rather awkwardly.

Cheap Honeymoon

No, I am not going on one. I mean we are not going on one. Not that I am against honeymoons, or against cheap things, or against cheap honeymoons, I am just wondering what do these words have to do with my dear dear post about our dear Dev D . Just Just Just now I got an email from almighty God and his representative Joseph that 'told' me that they have just added this post to their website and here is the link where I can see the honors been done to my post. Are they trying to make me famous by linking my post? If they are, why is the post hacked to half its size? What good is it going to serve their cause of giving cheap cheap honeymoons to people? How does Dev help them in their honeymoons? Is it because of the word 'sex' having been found in the post? Come to think of it, is honeymoon all about the 's' word? But then, in my own style, I digress. On a serious note, is Dev going to provide the honeymooners with any kicks? The million-dollar question is, what the heck is THIS post doing there? My blog has 99 more posts. Agar isey samjh sako....

So coming back to the question, are they trying to make me famous? No, there is no free lunch. Why should they make me famous? Alternatively, are they trying to make themselves famous? Should I flatter myself that my post is so so so valuable that it will make them famous by giving them more hits? If it is so good, it could give me more hits at its own home turf. What say? In order to put a pin through my puffed-up ego, I would understand that it is no instrument to make them or me famous. So what IS the purpose?

Also, on a detailed perusal, I found that my neighbour posts deal with cheap hotels, airlines, fat weddings, thin weddings, honeymoon ideas (do they really need them?), Barack Obama, Democrats, cheap activities (now this is the limit), witches (wow, what a kick during a honeymoon), Karla Darocas (yes, I know her, or is it a him?), Paris kisses, Arthurian legends (whatever their connection among each other), army ball (just one?),Caesar salad (if I had known this works, I would have had a cheap wedding too), Groom's guide to keep the honeymoon cheap (sure, ask the pink chaddi gang, they have ideas aplenty) etc. Barring my post and Obama, all deal with honeymoon. What the heck are you and I doing there, Barack dear?

I remember having read that one of Iya's posts had been linked at a website and she had written a post here. A few days before that NM had written about a whole post of hers having been lifted and plagiarised, and Kiran had also mentioned the same problem. The latter two cases had been plain lifting by the same person who later ran off deleting her blog . I understand that by writing in the open blogworld, we leave our writings vulnerably available -to be used by people as and when they wish. All that we can claim or make noise about is due credits being given to us. In mine and Iya's case, the url's of our blogs have been mentioned. Should we be happy? In this case, would you enlighten me, counsel me, advise me, console me, congratulate me or just call me a phool and run away?

Whose Maid?

She sat outside an examination hall where I was invigilating for the CA exams. We exchanged smiles. I was wondering what she was doing outside this examination. She was only a child-a child possibly not more than 8 or 9 years. Later, I saw that she was scribbling something on her notebook. On closer inspection I found that she was writing from the notes that the examinees had left outside. She saw me observing her and we just exchanged warm smiles. I got busy with the duty inside the examination hall and did not come out for the next about 30 minutes. It was 3.00 PM by the time I came outside. Sitting on the bench with her arm resting under her head on the desk, she was dozing in the warm breeze. I called out to the waterman to carry the child under a fan if she wanted to sleep. She woke up and smiled sheepishly at me, as if ashamed at having been found sleeping. "You want to sleep?" "Yes." I blinked at her and gestured to her to go to the little office, she smiled and we struck a chord immediately. She again smiled broadly and waved to me as the waterman led her to the small office where she could lie down for her siesta. About half an hour later, she was back, refreshed. She resumed her copying duties. This time, I went to her and asked her, "What is it that you are copying out?" "I don't know, I'm just copying for fun." "Its good," I said, "you are doing a good job. Keep it up." ... 'strategic management', 'overview' those were big words slipping through small fingers. But she was writing them down. "Did you come with someone?" "Yes, with ... Didi." "Is Didi in my room?" "Yes, there she is," She pointed to an overweight girl writing her exam. "You work for them?" "Yes" "Do you study?" "Yes, in class three" "Wow, you sure are intelligent. Can I take a picture of yours?" She grinned in response. I took her picture and showed it to her. She gave me a billion dollar smile. "Thank you" I said and patted her head.


I went in, resumed my duty. It was soon 4 PM, the exam was nearing the end. I was collecting the answer books. When I reached her didi, I asked, "That little girl is with you?" "Yes Ma'am, she is my maid." The bell rang and the examinees trooped out, chattering , free minded , for it was the last exam. The little girl was lost somewhere in that loud mayhem.

Her name is Poonam-Full Moon.

Why?

This is my 100th post. As is customary in the Blogworld, we mark anniversaries. 100th especially is supposed to be quite a landmark and in a case like mine, it is definitely a big deal, for I have done the vanishing act twice or thrice in the past few months. When I came back from the land of the vanished back to the blogworld, I was really touched to have you buddies around to read me. Me no writer, but the fact that someone reads me, does make me feel good. So what makes you want to come back to my blog? That is THE question I want you all to answer in the comments space. THAT is how I am going to mark my 100th post. I would copy out all your comments and put them here in the post.
So What do you say? Why are you here? What do you like about this blog? C'mon, make my day.

***

Devaki says: I'm glad you asked Mampi! I don't agree with you when you say you are no writer. I think you are a wonderful writer! Not as good as your daughter but still... :)
I love your cheerfulness and simple and easy style of writing. I think you are smart, witty and also unassuming - a rare combination if you ask me. And very warm and encouraging on other blogs. And how can I forget? I love your choice of music!
Happy 100th btw. :)

Tara from Mindspace says: the writing style has to be the foremost reason... Its simple and has just the right amount of humor for me..
I was directed here thru roop's blog
I liked the music on your blog too.
~my first comment here perhaps, having been around since early this year..
~Tara

Mithe says - She introduced me to her blog and a big new world opened up for me...She made me see whats out there through her blog...
For me her blog was a window, a window to the outer world, to the vast plethora of talent actually surrounding me and of which I was unaware and its still that way...I want to keep visiting again and again and again....
Congratulations Ma'am. You have been a friend, philosopher, guide and above all the best teacher...and to think she has not actually taught me!Thank you for your pearls on this blogworld and thank you for being YOU.
PS:She is like that in real life too...Beautiful, Talented, Smart, Vivacious, Witty and Funny:)

How Do We Know says-Its the quality of your writing. And that you personally engage with everyone on ur blog. Your readers get the feeling that they are talking to a VERY real, very warm person. Simple as that sounds, its actually quite a rare thing.
Your writing has just the right degree of humour and most importantly, the posts are not novellas in themselves. They are just the right size!
You make other people feel like real people, in whom you are genuinely interested. Things like that cannot be faked.
So basically, what brings me to this blog is all of the above, and the wonderful person that you are. Since meeting u, i am even more smitten and can start a Mampi Fan Club too! (umm.. i m straight)

D says - What brings me here Mampi is your creativity - not just in the way you use language but in the way you think. It's good to be able to express well what you're thinking but it's great to be able to think well.
Congratulations on your 100th post!

Geena says- Mampi, probably this is my first or second time that im leaving a comment in ur blog site..but trust me i read each and every post of urs and dont miss a single day to visit ur blogpage..now u wanna know why??? remember the days at jalandhar..how i was addicted to come and see u to have a cup of tea together everyday and how i couldn't stay without sharing things with u..that addiction brings me to ur blogs everyday..cos at miles apart, i dont wanna feel tht i am away frm you..when i read ur posts, i feel as if ur talking to me face to face..ur blessed by god tht u could make this far with ur writings to 100th post.You are indeed an amazing writer and a wonderful friend..keep it up. love u. GD.

PhoenixRitu says-Hey, I did not say Happy Birthday to my blog! Damn
Happy Anniversary Mampi's blog!

Solilo says -I am a new reader to your blog, Mampi. That means I have read only couple of posts and you touch a chord. I like your travelogues and humor and all the little-big things you weave with the words. That's why I come back.

Hitchwriter says - Congrats on 100 posts... !!
If I recall correctly you were the first blogger I interacted with... and for a long time i was under the impression that you were a guy ... Lol... blame the name of your blog !! lol...
Neways.. why i come to your blog...
1 main reason.. your very original sense of humour.. !! a lot of other too but thats the most important one.. ! :P

Liju Philip says - Congrats on hitting the 100. Why i like to visit your blog is mainly for the humor. Original daily happenings seem much more funny when you write them.
Looking forward to 1000 more posts from you.

UL says - Because I can't get enough....your world is fascinating, you make it fun...you do write well ...and I love those poems too- makes me wish I knew your language...

SuKumBho says- Why??? Because YOU are YOU! Simple as that. It was the same for the 1st post and wud be that for the 1000th post. As an honest critic, I wud rather vote for the poems. Not to undermine the posts throbbing with life. As Geena says, I also read all of them but seldom leave a comment. Because it's ME. Simple as that.

XpressCoffee says - Best wishes for hitting a perfect Century !
I know how it feels to be coz jus recently i realized i had hit 150 and was unbelievably elated !
Enjoy the feeling ! :)

Veena says - What hooked me on to your blog is your genuiness and your sense of humour.. :) Its a pleasure reading your blog .. Congratulations on your 100th post.

Pinku says - why do i come back to your blog?
thats one question I cant answer...since I am never away...I log on to your blog as many times as i log onto mine.
what makes me do it..is the smile that you always manage to bring through your posts no matter how bad a day I may be having.
Happy 100th post...keep writing...you motivate many...with your simple, down-to-earth, touching the heart posts.
Love your verse creations too...hope to see many more of those in the coming posts.

Sudipta Chatterjee says - Congratulations! Why do I read your blog - well simply put I like the content and your views on stuff. Of course, the songs are a bonus. :)

Quirky Indian says - Congratulations!
What makes me come back? The humour, the simplicity and the honesty.
Please don't change.
Cheers,
Quirky Indian

Life Begins says - O wow..congrats :)
The smiles you spread,
the cheer you add,
the joys you share,
the mood you set,
to life you add
all that is perfect!!
:)
PS: This is my small try at poetry to thank you for being you.

Iya says - What makes me come back:
1. although we haven’t met up in person or even spoken to each other the fact is I seem to really like u.
2. your writings are simple yet so personal. There is this instant connect
3. your writing have the beautiful aroma of Punjab which I so love.
4. Reading u makes me feel as if I am reading someone who has a beautiful heart and that makes me come back 

Mandira says - happpy 100th post mampi!!! i crossed that landmark a while back..dnt even remember if i recorded it!!
why do i come back to ur blog again n again? for the songs!;)and also for the funny posts u throw in frequently..like the one with the pot bellied officers recently...n the every day events kinda posts..the kids,the husband, the MIL... i like those as well.. so i guess i keep coming back for everything u write!!:D

Jyoti (Imp's Mom) says - Yay!!! Congrats!!
Why I read ur blog? watch my space... u'll soon know :P
patience ok... aur nahi bata rahi abhi.

Sucharita Sarkar says - You shoot straight from the hip, you have a great sense of humour (often directed at yourself), and 'you entertaining-to-read writer'! Also, for me, the name Mampi was intriguing.

Oreen says - arre, you are like a lifeline, bhai... aise kaise likhna band kar dogi?
we come here to breathe...

Ashwani says - Mampi,
One can feel the passion with which you reach out to people by writing your blog.Underneath your TM humour is a genuine concern and senstivity which is reflected in all your posts.
The freshness of the subjects that you choose to write on reflect your fertile imagination not only in prose but in poetry as well,
not to forget the encouragement you provide to the fellow bloggers by appreciating their posts.
A heartiest congratulations on hitting the century!

SS says - Why am I here?
Well, I liked the initial few posts I read and added your blog on to my Google Reader. Now, it follows your blog for me.
:D

Pradeep Biswas says - Mampi,
My heartfelt congratulations for your 100th post but if you are mopping the bids of sweats on your forhead I am not with you. You have a long to go and you just warmed up yourself. Why do I like your blog? good question. It reminds me one of my story in my college days. There was a common heart throb. The followers felt great if she obliged them for a little talk with Tea and a little smile. One day she asked all of them by turn "You said you love me but Why?" There were intellectuals, witty and smart fellows. Everyone gave colorful answers. The most unsmart,timid boy scratched his head and said "I donot know, i shall try but I am sure I may not find any. I am sorry" The bill for tea came up, she held her hand tightly and did not allow him to pay. From the next day that unsmart fellow had a single follower, that was our common heart throb. Now do you follow why so many of us like your blog? I and we like it just like that I and we do not know "why"

Soulsafar says - Congratulations on your 100th post. First time here. Will definitely have something to say when you cross 200 :)

Kiran says - congrats!! happy 100th =)
i love your writing style and the simplicity...always brings a smile to my face! keep writing!

Monika Manchanda says - congrats!!!
and WHY WHY WHY I AM NOT HERE????
WHY WASNT I ASKED
*walks away in a combination of anger and bhaav*
but I love ur blog.... love reading it because I feel connected to my land because of u... I can sometimes feel the smell of punjab in what u write
I can feel the warmth of a genuine person u are in the simple words I read here
And last but not the least... I love love the humor....
Hoping many 100's from u Mampi
(((hugs)))
and u better ask me next time

Himalayan Adventurer says - Hi Mampi, congrats on being a centurion! It is amazing how many people have responded to your challenge and narrated their reasons for visiting your blog. But sometimes, you do something and yet it is OK without specifying any reason. Best wishes for your forward journey and more and more companionship.

Mama Mia says -100 posts! how awesome is that?!
me read your blog because it has a l'il bit of both, sense and madness! :)
cheers!
abha

Alankrita says -SO you hit a century!!!!!
Congrats.
I come here, just to think. And to turn off that music there.

Lazyani says - Congrats Mampi on your century; a century similar to that of a true blue test match player. Your innings has class, character and a lot of peace in its making. That's what makes me return to your blog, albeit quietly.
My first comment on your site probably, but I am a regular reader.

MySpace says - Likhtey raho...
why do i come back...for your humour and honesty...apna connection hain koi shayad issliye???